Hair Cream
by AleatoryW
Summary: Obi-wan learns that commercials are not always acurate-and sometimes, they can be real heartbreakers. At least, to certain bald assassins. Obisajj.


**I'm going to dedicate this one to ArmedWithAPen, who wrote a story about Asajj crying as well, but this one's odd, while the other one is rather serious. I was working on this before I ever read her's though, so we both had the same idea, and wrote it differently. Sorry it's so short, but there's really not much more to add.**

**I do not own Star Wars. nor do I own these characters. nor do I own one of those giant trampolines...**

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Obi-wan Kenobi was sitting on one end of the sofa, just minding his own business, working on a mission report on his datapad. It was about mid afternoon, thunder rumbled outside, the rest of the common room in the Republic base was empty. Everyone else was in the cafeteria. He was incredibly focused, so much so that he didn't even look up when someone else entered, flopped down on the couch. Whoever it was flipped on the television, and, having heard every commercial more times then he'd like to count, he knew right away, without even looking, what was on.

Commercial for insurance: "Call now and you could save thousands!" Click. Whoever was watching the blasted thing changed the channel.

Ad for cereal: "Most nutritious and delicious cereal in the..." Click.

Ad for a speeder: "Rated top pick two years in a row. See a dealer..." Click.

Ad for hair cream. "It's impossible to imagine a beautiful, attractive woman without a thick, goergeous head of hair. It's what men first notice about..." Click.

This time the television was turned off. Obi-wan wouldn't have paid any more attention to the incident if it hadn't been for what he heard next: a muffled sob. He turned to see Asajj Ventress, who was technically a prisoner, but allowed to wander wherever she wanted in the base whenever Master Windu left. She had pulled her knees up to her chest and was sobbing into her arms, obviously not wanting him to hear her.

"Um, Asajj?" he asked, incredibly embarrassed. He'd give anything not to be in this situation, but he couldn't just leave her crying.

"I'm fine." she sniffed, her face still buried in the crook of her arm. It was quite obvious that she was _not _fine.

"Asajj, um, what's wrong?" he wasn't sure where to start, and that seemed like a good option. Obi-wan set his datapad down on the table and moved closer to her.

"Nothing is wrong." Her voice was muffled. Obi-wan stared at her and realized something. He knew nothing about women. He worked with them, talked to them, about half the Jedi he associated with daily were women, but he didn't really understand them. And Asajj was one of them. What would possess her to suddenly start crying was completely beyond him.

"Asajj, you wouldn't just cry for no reason." the Jedi reasoned, but there really is no reasoning with someone who is bawling their eyes out.

"Just go away." she sobbed, turning away from him slightly. Obi-wan sighed, being now faced by the back of her head: pale, smooth, decorated with purple tattoos. Suddenly, he understood. Or at least thought the might know why she was suddenly so upset.

"Asajj, is it the hair cream commercial?" he asked softly. What she did next was so unexpected, at least to someone who didn't understand women, that he couldn't possibly have been prepared for it.

"Y-y-yes!" she threw herself on his shoulder and continued to bawl quite loudly-louder then before, or perhaps it just sounded that way because she was so near his ear.

"It's alright." he murmured, partly to reassure her, partly because he had no clue of what to say. He put his arms around her waist and patted her back gently.

"No it's not!" she stammered. "It said-it said I'll never be beautiful without-without a head of-of-of hair!" she had broken into a new flurry of sobs. Obi-wan could feel her tears soaking through his robes, feeling warm and wet against his skin. He gazed down at her, suddenly knowing why she was so upset. Anakin and Ahsoka calling her 'the bog witch', 'the hairless harpy, and 'the bald sith wannabe' cut her. She hated knowing that she could never have hair, that she'd never be as beautiful as most the female Jedi, that she was quite possibly the most hated thing in the galaxy, and that no one thought she was of any worth. And this commercial was the last straw. It was an insult beyond describing. As though no one would ever see any beauty in her because she couldn't grow hair. It was ridiculous. At that moment, he hated that commercial. It played a part, along with the rest of the galaxy, in breaking her heart, telling her she'd always be alone, that she could never be attractive, beautiful, seductive, flirtatious.

Obi-wan had never had to comfort anyone sobbing before, as Jedi rarely break down into sudden tears, nor did clone troopers. He said the first thing that came to his mind. "I think you're already very beautiful."

Asajj looked up at him, eyes bright with hope and tears. "Really?"

She actually was quite good-looking when she smiled, not that he, a Jedi, should be noticing anything like that. "Of course." he told her, feeling slightly ashamed with himself for never complementing her, always being teasing, not noticing how alone she was. "Of course." He told her, voice level.

"Thanks Obi-wan." She brightened, stood up, and began wiping tears out of her eyes. "I feel so much better." She looked hesitant for a second, then leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. She left the room without another word, and he had a feeling he shouldn't follow her.

Well. He certainly couldn't focus on the momentarily forgotten assignment after that. And if he walked into the cafeteria, someone would surely ask why he looked so dazed, and he'd most likely freak out and blurt, "Ventress kissed me!" Definitely awkward, that statement. For lack of better things to do, he flipped the television back on. The commercial was still playing.

"And if you call now, you get three bottles for only..."

"Do shut up." commanded Obi-wan, changing the channel.

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